And I will be loathing you!
by ElphabaROCKS
Summary: What happens when I put a Fiyero-hater in a conference room with Fiyero? Nothing good...in fact, it's pretty scary. Complete crack-fic. My first real attempt at humor.


**Hello! Well, I lied. I wrote more fanfiction. Well, it gets rid of writer's block! Besides, it was written no only by me, but also with Areyoufeelingwicked and Phoenix. I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: None of the opinions expressed below by Areyoufeelingwicked are mine, but only her own. For copyright disclaimer, see my story "The Ultimate Disclaimer**

Eleanor, formally known as ER (Phoenix changed my nickname, long story), was sitting at a long conference table, across from Fiyero and Areyoufeelingwicked (Who she will call RU, because shes lazy). The Authoress is staring at Fiyero, drooling slightly, while RU is shooting a whithering glare at him. Suddenly, a spit ball flew at the prince, hitting him in the nose.

"What was that for?" he whined.

"Everything. You being there, if you weren't there, it would have hit the wall." she snapped.

"Guys, stop fighting. I brought you two together to work out your problems with eachother." Eleanor sighed.

"That's a _great_ idea, Eleanor," RU said sarcastically, "it's _totally_ going to work."

"Yes, it is. Because I have a plan!" Eleanor announced.

"What's the plan, then?"

"First, Fiyero will list all the things wrong with you, and ya'll two will talk it out with eachother!"

Phoenix suddenly appeared in a great fire ball out of nowhere, "Since when did you say _ya'll_, Eleanor? I thought only Texans said stuff like that!"

"Erm, Pheonix...we _are_ Texans."

"Really, are you sure we're not from Oz? I always thought this looked more like the Vinikus..."

"No, because _then_ we would get to see Fiyero every day!" Eleanor shouted. RU grabs a bag and pretends to vomit at the mere thought. "Moving on! Phoenix, make yourself useful and go buy some donuts!"  
"Why do _I_ have to buy the donuts? Make RU do it!" she whined. RU began to stand up, glad for a chance to escape the Winkie's presence.

"No! RU, stay here. Phoenix, get the donuts!" Phoenix walked off muttering something about 'hate donuts', while RU dropped back into her chair, looking both angry and shocked.

"How can you be _human_ if you don't like donuts?" she muttered.

"Well, we are Texans... Anyway, Fiyero, it's your time to shine. Tell RU what you think of her."

Fiyero sat up, glad for a chance to speak. "You think too much, RU, you over-analyze."

"You mean like Elphaba does?" RU raised he eyebrows.

"Well...it's different with her!"

"Whatever, go on so we can get this over with."

"You don't write any stories about me! I have a big problem with that!"

"I do too! You just don't like then because they involve you either getting yelled at or hurt."

Eleanor could see that her plan was so far unsuccessful, so spontaneously decides to interrupt them in the middle of their argument for a change of plan. "RU, tell us what you think of Fiyero.."

She slammed her hand on the table, "Everything! He's a slob he never studies, he probably has never gotten a grade better than an seventy- five. He is friends with Avaric, Avaric is creepy,and goes on too many carbonate beverage excursions. Fiyero is a terrible influence on a very smart and good girl, who ends up dropping out of college and ends up being a fugitive of the law. ALL...BECAUSE...OF...HIM!" She sucks in a large breath,

"But...but, I've _changed_!" Fiyero whined.

"To what? A straw headed, trigger happy straw headed dude who turned down his fiance and continued to corrupt a girl who could have gone very far in life if not for you and encouraging her fantasies about the Wizard. Mean while you are running around with some other girl who is WAY too young for you!"

He looked both shocked and furious at the same time, "For your information, I did _not_ ever even consider liking Dorothy, my heart was completely Elphaba's! _And_ I never even wanted to marry Glinda, so that doesn't even count!"

Eleanor sighedat the Fiyeraba mentioned, as did Phoenix, who had just entered the room with donuts. On the other hand, RU pretended to vomit to the side again and received many glares from it. "RU!" Eleanor exclaimed, "What do you have against a little bit of fluff? What's wrong with Fiyeraba?"

She snorted, "Oh, you're in for some lecture, my friend."

"Oh, good!" Phoenix grinned, "More time to eat donuts!"

**For any of you that stayed with the story despite the high amounts of Fiyero-insulting. Personally, I think that RU is crazy. How can you not like Fiyero?**

**Anyway, please review and side with me! (or her, I guess...)**


End file.
